The Golden Generation's Last Stand

This was supposed to be it. The tournament that the generation of England players, daubed the 'Golden Generation', was finally going to earn the international respect that it has so flattered to deserve over the past decade. The nucleus of the current England squad, those players in their late 20's to early 30's; Lampard, Ferdinand, Terry, Gerrard, both Cole's etc (with the notable exception of Wayne Rooney). They had first come together in Euro 2004, were expected to reach their full potential in the following two tournaments, and had seemed to realise that in all probability this would be their last shot at making a substantial impact on a tournament.

The loss of Ferdinand from their ranks was undoubtedly a blow, but concerns were quickly allayed with the championing of Gerrard to inspire the team onwards with personal conviction and hunger. The ease of the qualification campaign, and the favourable draw, coupled with a group England would have expected to breeze through, led some to postulate a semi-final place and a shot at the final were not an unrealistic outcome.

However, this hasn't happened. A below par draw with the United States offered some concern as to the lack of invention and the sluggish pace of the team. This result was quickly put in perspective by the travails of many of the leading nations in the first games of the group stages, and the performance began to be seen as a creditable (though uninspired) tie with the perceived "greatest threat within the group".

The following game was generally advocated to be where this core group would start to assert their authority upon this World Cup. A truly turgid display followed against Algeria, for my money the poorest display I've seen by an England team in fifteen years of following them.

With the supporters' derisive jeers echoing in the stands, and in the dressing room, the group find themselves at a critical moment. That is, will they bow out with the most humiliatingly ineffective World Cup campaign in English football history, or can they find the resolve to reach the heights they are so often accorded.

Time is running out for the Golden Generation. If they don't stand up and be counted now, in their most desperate hour, they never will.

Fullerov

An Obvious Point

I am fully aware that criticism of ITV’s World Cup (and general sporting) coverage is like shooting very big fish in a very small barrel these days but Monday night gave a shining example of the difference in quality and insight between ITV and the BBC. Perhaps most worrying of all, they seemed to be watching different matches as well. The novelty of seeing Adrian Chiles on ITV briefly perked things up but one hit a week of him and his collapsing head on MOTD2 was more than enough. God knows I stopped watching the One Show quickly enough.

I had the Spain versus Honduras match on though cannot admit I was watching it intently as I have mastered the “being on the internet but kind of watching TV” skill that all girlfriends love. Peter Drury, Jim Beglin and some vuvuzelas were providing the background din. It was always going to be a vomit inducing display of Spain-praising as they created (and wasted) numerous chances against a team generously ranked 38th in the world. David Villa’s first goal was very good but the second, while a decent move, was not (paraphrasing) “the beautiful game played as it should be”. It was a counter attack against a Honduras side who were chucking men forward in an attempt at getting an unlikely equaliser. There was a lot more of this sycophantic droning that I can’t be bothered to recount.

The missing Andres Iniesta was referred to as Spain’s “pass master” when surely that title goes to Xavi or Xabi Alonso. They also nearly completely ignored the fact that Villa should have been sent off for a girly slap on a Honduran defender, said defender then acting like a tit by going down a good five seconds later.

For personal reasons (moving from one room to another since you ask) I listened to the last twenty minutes on Radio 5live where the commentary team seemed to have been watching a totally different game of football. According to Chris Waddle and Guillerme Balague, Spain were laboured and looked to be struggling with the conditions – Balague described the performance as “worrying”. Jesus Navas was wasteful in possession, something I’d also noticed as the television screen had earlier been in my peripheral vision. Comparisons to Arsenal were mentioned as Spain were willed to shoot when they got in around the penalty area, something both Arsenal and Spain seem to struggle with by often playing one pass too many. In summation, they won the match but their profligacy might well see them eliminated if they face Brazil in the second round.

The contrast was startling.

Now this is not to say that the BBC provide faultless coverage because they don’t. The BBC television panel have generally revelled in their own ignorance during this tournament while those who offer the most succinct and rational analysis find themselves marginalised on 5live. Graham Taylor and Roy Hodgson, two of three (along with Jurgen Klinsmann) who have any experience of managing at an international tournament, are rarely seen on screen. They offer some real analysis of tactical nuance rather than simply relaying what has just happened with appropriate sound bites, as per the two Alans – Hansen seems to think punditry is below him these days and Shearer regularly makes it abundantly clear how he got Newcastle relegated. I won’t even address Mark Lawrenson other than to say he has actually made me chuckle once during this World Cup, which I am sure will make his day when he reads this.

There’s no real point to what I have just written and it won’t be news to many people, but it was just fairly amusing to experience this gap so strikingly.

Matt Morrison

Top 5 World Cup villains so far

5. Sani Kaita (Nigeria)
The second stupidest sending-off of the World Cup so far. With the team comfortable and 1-0 up and with the ball out of play in an entirely non-threatening position Nigeria’s Sani Kaita aims a kick at Greece’s Vassilis Torosidis, earns himself an inevitable red card and sets his team on the path to a defeat that’s likely to eliminate them from the competition.

4. Vassilis Torosidis (Greece)
That said Torosidis’ reaction is shocking. At first glance he looks the victim of a vicious and unprovoked assault but on the replay it’s clear Kaita barely makes contact and the collapse to the ground in “agony” was every bit as ludicrous and disgraceful as Rivaldo’s theatrics against Turkey in 2002. Kaita’s red card was inevitable as soon as he raised a foot but it was still an appalling display of bad sportsmanship.

3. Otto Rehhagel (Greece)
I promise to move on from Greece in a second but Rehhagel has to make the list. Usually a coach getting an unfancied (and, let’s face it, rubbish) team to the brink of the second round would be a cause for congratulations and admiration for the plucky underdogs. But Greece are such an atrocious team to watch it can only be a source of frustration and disappointment. The pragmatist-in-chief of a goals-lite World Cup so far, Rehhagel’s tactics must surely mean every neutral fan will be rooting for South Korea to progress come Tuesday.

2. Clive Tyldesley (ITV1 football commentator)
Although no stranger to ineptitude, Tyldesley took it to new heights in his coverage of Brazil’s opener against North Korea. Finally treated to the first truly brilliant goal since the tournament’s opening day, Tyldesley took five replays to spot that it wasn’t an own goal (he may have been the only person watching who thought it was in the first place) and then attempted to spare his blushes by pontificating interminably about whether Maicon meant it (which, unless his plan was to cross to nobody instead, he clearly did). Truly embarrassing.

1. Abdelkhazer Ghezzal (Algeria)
OK, you’re an Algerian footballer during the first World Cup in Africa. All the African nations have been handed relatively tough draws and whichever team progresses will potentially experience the adulation of an entire continent. The night before your first game, the two favourites in your group play and share a 1-1 draw. You see a glimmer. England are under pressure and out of form and, although a lucky break gave them the draw, it’s pretty clear from watching the game the US are nowhere near as good as their pre-tournament hype. All you have to do is beat the smallest country in the tournament and you’ll suddenly have a good chance of progressing.

It’s 0-0 at half-time but Algeria have been the stronger side. You come on as a substitute in a lone striker’s role. This is your chance to be a national hero and enter your name into the annals of World Cup history.

Or you could pick up a pointless yellow card within your first two minutes on the pitch and then fifteen minutes later perform the world’s most blatant handball and get yourself sent off, thus ensuring your team lose the match and are deprived of your services against the group favourites. Truly and remarkably idiotic.

Paul Hawkins

Day 8 - superb ref shafts the Germans, England held by mighty Algeria

Germany 0 Serbia 1
Like in the Greece vs Nigeria game, the sending off was crucial, and a goal for the opposition quickly followed. Serbia were lucky to benefit from referring decisions which admittedly altered the game profoundly, and I don’t know if there is a Serbian gene which makes flying through the air hands raised in a starjump position a relishing proposition, but amidst all the card chaos there was a thrilling spectacle that was extremely watchable. By opening up Group D, this victory illustrates the thrilling unpredictability of the World Cup this year. (EG)

The first time bookies have had to give me some money this World Cup and lord was it sweet. I've had Serbia down as victorious bore-merchants and despite being very poor against Ghana, they came very close to getting a point against them. The highlight of the tournament might well be watching a keeper who looked like breaking down into tears whenever he had to catch a tame cross saving a ferociously, if predictably left-sided, struck German penalty. (DK)

Miroslav Klose’s unlucky first half sending off gave Serbia a great chance for three much needed points. They went ahead through Jovanovic but then tried to self destruct (as ever) when Vidic handled to give Germany a penalty – Stojkovic saved from Podolski. Serbia will qualify with a win against Australia. (MM)

Nine bookings in a game that wasn't terribly dirty; the ref completely off his head. Once Klose had been sent off Germany has little punch in attack, though did play well for around fifteen minutes at the start of the second. Ozil - the star of the win over Australia, was very quiet, and in the end Serbia staggered home. Lovely to see the Germans missing a pen, but Vladimir Stojkovic being the Man of the Match sums up how ridiculous World Cups can be. Serbia should beat Australia, and it's not beyond the realms of possibility that Ghana could stick ten behind the ball and get the point needed to send our most loved rivals home early. (JJ)

Slovenia 2 USA 2
Though they had a winner ruled out incorrectly, America should be content with a point considering their precarious half-time position at 2-0 down. Jozy Altidore’s Heskey impression was more impressive than usual, and Slovenia possessed vigour that suggests they have more than a good chance of humbling England on Wednesday. Both teams contributed to an enthralling contest that continued the World Cup’s great run stretching back nine games until England ruined everyone’s days. (EG)

A surprisingly good clash, and one that could now prove to have provided Group C's qualifiers. The US started very poorly but can feel rightly aggrieved to have had a historic comeback victory snatched away from them because three of their players had the audacity to be fouled while they hit what should have been the decider. (DK)

Entertaining game. Slovenia 2-0 up at half time without dominating. USA changes at half time brought them back into it as they grabbed two goals and they were unlucky not to win with a goal that was farcically disallowed. The group is wide open with one match left. (MM)

America looked down and out at the break but came back very well and should have won it in the end. One of few poor refereeing performances of the competition at this point, but the second high-profile one of the day. Birsa continues to impress, and the US show an edge that means they should have the respect of any opposition. Highlight of the afternoon, and probably tournament; a considerably overweight topless American fan panicking when they equalised and forgetting how to celebrate, instead hugging his pal from behind and sobbing like a big girl. (JJ)

England 0 Algeria 0
A lot will be said of this England performance, and none of it will be positive. Tactically askew, there was little to no effort, passes were horrifically misplaced, and there does appear to be a lack of confidence in the team itself. It is obvious that these players should perform more admirably, but when was the last time England played well in a major tournament? Further than that, apart from double victories against Croatia in qualifying for World Cup 2010, in particular the 2008 4-1 away victory which did, and still does, feel like a warped dream, you have to go back to 1st September 2001 for the last time England were heroic and impressive, and on a par with the world’s best.

Wednesday’s crunch match against Slovenia may be the last chance for a majority of the team with overinflated senses of grandeur and entitlement to be considered ‘world class’ to prove themselves for their country. But I am not holding my breath.

I think we have no reached a point of no return even if we do beat Slovenia. Fans of England no longer see an elusive pot of gold at the end of the end of the proverbial rainbow, overconfident exuberance has been fatally lost, and there is the stark realisation that this, and most others years, will not be 'our time'. We have tried out various methods of functioning, and it has become comprehensively indisputable that our place is not amongst the world's elite. (EG)

What is there left to say? Some of us have argued over who was or wasn't the 'best' player in white, but it seems pretty futile to debate who the least shitty peanut in the turd was. I'm not usually a fan of criticising a manager's tactics from the safety of the morning after but it does seem safe to say Fabio got it wrong. Can Johnson play with Lennon? When Rooney is so shockingly immobile, can Heskey's starting berth really be justified? Just what is it that Capello does or doesn't see from Joe Cole in training to use SWP over him? It's not what I want to happen, but any flutter I have on Wednesday might just be on a 0-0 England - Slovenia draw. (DK)

Enough’s been said. Pretty awful but England still have a very good chance to progress, something they don’t really deserve after their first two matches. Algeria played quite well. (MM)

Simply spineless throughout. Rooney's worst performance in an England shirt, probably any shirt. Lampard also completely absent once again. Gareth Barry got stuck in, first half especially, and James and Ashley Cole were okay, but the match-winners, the players capable of making a difference where it matters, all didn't bother turning up.

If we're to qualify, and we should (though play as we have so far and Slovenia could get at least a draw) we need to change the shape. Fabio probably won't go with Joe Cole, but he needs to. I think we should ditch the big man and try and play a bit. Switch to a 4-3-3, the formation most of our better players are used to at club level. More than anything tactical, though, those capable of changing games just need to pull their f*cking fingers out. (JJ)

Matt Morrison, Daniel Kelly, Eddie Golby, Joey Jones

Ones to watch - Alexis Sanchez (Chile)

Arguably the best individual performance of the tournament so far goes to the Chilean winger Alexis Sanchez in their opening match against Honduras. Fleet of foot and showing real attacking urgency whenever he had the ball, his performance was a breath of fresh air in what has been a rather sterile opening round of matches.

He made his debut for Chile in 2006 at the age of 17. Now, still only 21, he has been in Serie A at Udinese for two seasons where his performances have attracted the generally unwanted attention of Real Madrid. While predominantly collecting the ball in deep or wide areas, he is at his most dangerous when turning and running at defences but he also demonstrated an eye for a killer ball through to his strike partners and chips in with a fair amount of goals (he scored three in two World Cup warm ups).

Granted, Honduras are not the greatest side against which to judge a player’s calibre, so it will be interesting to see whether he manages to do any damage to a dogged Swiss defence or sees enough of the ball to worry a Spanish backline that did not cover itself in glory against Switzerland.

He is the catalyst of an attractive Chilean side that I, for one, hope make it through to the last sixteen. You may see him in the Champions League next season.

Matt Morrison

Suzanne Vega's vuvuzela

After the defensive-minded tension of the initial stage of the Fifa World Cup 2010, at the time of writing we have been treated to seven often thrilling spectacles, most of which would have even made Mark Lawrenson less bleakly suicidal. On the eve of this evening’s Big Game for the Heroic Lions against an Algeria team that Alan Hansen and the disappointingly smug BBC team could not bring themselves to research for before Sunday’s pedestrian loss against Slovenia, most would concur that things are looking quite rosy for fans of excitement.

Jong Tae-Se’s tears aside, the defining moment when the tide shifted was Maicon’s staggeringly brilliant strike/staggeringly lucky blasted cross against North Korea. Yes, for the neutral the NK Dons brave chaperoning of their goal was admirable against a Brazil side wrongly viewed to be stereotypically bamboozling in attack, but it had all got a bit too much. It was not that the games before that were bad and not fascinating in their own way, but it had become a shame that coaches all over the world had seen Mourinho as King.

Since then we have seen the simply brilliant Chile 3-3-1-3 formation enriched by the dazzling potential of Alexis Sanchez, Spain’s very own galacticos scratching their heads, unable to get past Phillipe Senderos et al, Mexico deservedly humbling France (leading to Patrice Evra’s feeling of “disgust” at Les Bleus performance), a bedazzling Uruguay breaking South African hearts, Sani Kaita’s stupidity finally providing a Benjamin Massing moment of ridiculousness, and Argentina’s flair juxtaposed with defensive frailties. Even Maradona has provided some homophobia. It is true that there is still a tendency for players to overhit passes, headers are generally poor, shots are largely being ballooned over, and free-kicks regularly laughable… yet things are looking up.

Arguably, it is less clear which country will lift the Jules Rimet trophy on July 11th than before the tournament started. And this is unquestionably a Good Thing. As previously mentioned in this blog in regards to Spain’s limitations in their opening game, the top teams may have to incorporate versatility in their play to end victorious. All in all, it’s been a few days where there has been a lot more to talk about than vuvuzelas and the mood of the England camp, despite Gabriel Clarke’s best efforts. Moments of truth are approaching for the majority of nations competing in South Africa, and the action is enticingly poised.

Eddie Golby

Day 7 - Argies ruin South Korea, France lose the plot

Before the tournament France and Argentina were two sides heavily tipped to stumble through the group stages, if make it at all. Both countries are managed by widely-derided tactical numpties who could most pleasantly be described as annoying arseholes. One has breezed through the group stage with minimal fuss and no headlines, the other have imploded quite brilliantly but may still yet squeak through...

Argentina 4 South Korea 1
After Germany’s opening game, the second performance of the tournament that could be befitting of World Cup winners. Higuain’s hat-trick and an unfortunate own goal aside, there are defensive flaws that may leave them exposed against stronger opposition. However, this performance should have convinced those doubters that they are amongst the front-runners. South Korea had an off day but as said previously, a draw against Nigeria should be suitable to send them through. (EG)

The Argies do the business, and clueless nobs, myself included, begin to look like clowns for confidently predicting they'd struggle. The front three, all amongst the top scorers in their domestic divisions this last season, combined delightfully to leave us foaming at the mouths. Tevez - the pulse of the side, battled his heart out. Higuian - after doubts during his early Madrid career, continues his ascent into one of the most complete forwards in the world, and Messi gels it all together effortlessly.

South Korea should still make it through the group as runners up. (DM)

Greece 2 Nigeria 1
Sani Kaita, you crazy man. Nigeria were wholly dominant and were ahead until Kaita’s slow shirt-over-head trudge to the changing rooms after a wild kick out at Vasileios Torosidis, and from then on the pendulum not only shifted but exploded as Greece inevitably secured victory with a first World Cup goals in their history. However, despite an admirable comeback, Greece are an utter pain to watch. If Argentina predictably keep Greece rooted on three points in the final game, a point for South Korea against Nigeria will be enough to send them through, yet if Nigeria win three teams will be tied on three points and be separated by goal difference, then goals scored and if necessary, then head-to-head records. I love theoretical permutations. (EG)

Vincent Enyeama, for the most part, performed very well under lots of pressure, and the Israel-based 'keeper will emerge from the tournament as his country's biggest positive. I expect he'll make a move to one of the major leagues and revert to his former calamity self. Uche, the left-sided midfielder contracted to Almeria, also did okay, though his goal was obviously very fortunate.

Overall, very disappointed with a lacklustre Nigeria side, but their fans didn't expect to reach the second stage before the tournament. Oh for the golden days of Finidi George!

Ninis showed some nice touches for Greece when introduced, but hopefully they'll exit the tournament quite soon. Quite nice to see them score a couple of goals, though. (DM)

France 0 Mexico 2
Best piece of schadenfreude in the tournament so far. To say France were abject would be to give them too much credit. As delighted as the Mexicans should be with victory, the real worry for the French will be that they made their opponents look excellent when they were merely good. Abidal's challenge beggared belief (someone with so many medals should know better) but both Hernandez and Blanco took their chances delightfully well. Here's to a bore draw when they take on Uruguay next week. (DK)

Maybe not on a par with the best games of the tournament so far, but certainly one of the most enjoyable outcomes. This is not down to personal Francophobia, but because it was a pure victory for invention over stagnation. France looked completely pedestrian (a theme I will return to later) and incomprehensibly unmotivated by the prospect of a World Cup group match. On the other hand, Mexico were full of attacking verve and instinctive ball retention, with the dribbling and forward runs were a joy to behold in particular. They became one of my favoured teams this year with this display, whereas France were not just uninspiring, but painfully dull to watch. (EG)

Always thoroughly enjoyable to see the French implode. Worryingly, there are obvious similarities between them and England at present. As soon as you saw Govou's name on the teamsheet there was never any doubt that we were in for ninety minutes of popcorn munching.

Anelka, a proven player but alienated in their current system, had little effect, told the manager to fuck himself and has since retired - don't say the French lack style. Ribery, puzzlingly played in a central position, again had minimal impact on the game, leaving the English watching public scratching their heads at his oft-quoted £40m+ valuation.

Nice to get a peak at this little lad United have signed, and also to see a no-necked Blanco on the scoresheet. Salcido and Torrado played very well again. You'd think Mexico and Uruguay will now play out the inevitable draw, but both will probably want to avoid Argentina. (DM)

Derek McPherson, Daniel Kelly, Eddie Golby

Stick it in the mixer

Before the World Cup started I was going to write a piece on whether this would be a defensive tournament like Italia '90 or a more attacking one such as Spain '82 or France '98. With the first set of opening round games now over, we have witnessed the fewest ever goals at this stage of the competition and the hyperbolic overdrive that is 24-hour news coverage is desperate to tell us this is the 'worst World Cup ever'. After all, these days there are only two things events can be – best and worst. There is no middle ground. None.

However, there is more at work than simply tagging the event defensive, or even blaming the roundest of round balls, which admittedly has had an impact but nothing like what has been talked about. As an aside, I do like the fact that the Germans looked good in their opening game allegedly because they’ve had six months to play with the ball. Definitely had nothing to do with the fact that they kept it on the deck and didn’t balloon Hollywood balls into the Highveld all evening long.

The first round so far has been interesting because so many of the favourites and 'big teams' have had fixtures against minnows and so-called lesser opposition, resulting in first night nerves for the established contenders and leading to more pressure from both supporters and media back home. For the little guys, hell this is the biggest day of their lives – we’re at the World f**king Cup for god’s sake.

The less fancied teams have been called negative by some. Not myself. You’re up against some of the best players in the world, why should you have to play to their strengths and against your own. Switzerland, North Korea, Paraguay and the USA have been organised, played as a team and executed their game plan with a tactical discipline that England have scarcely managed. Factor in guts and fight – New Zealand’s 93rd minute equaliser for example, and you’ve got a raft of dogged plucky underdogs. Romantic as that is, the plucky tire and class shines through. Isn’t that how the story goes? Certainly in qualifying – how many times have we seen England face a brick wall of eleven men in the box, to run out 3-0 winners in the second half?

In the Brazil game we saw Kaka, Elano et al play pretty little passes in pretty little circles in front of North Korea’s back seven who were determined to scrap for their lives. Against Switzerland, Spain looked not only bereft of ideas, but almost shocked that the Swiss weren’t bowing down in front of their five-yard passes and not parting like the Red Sea for them.

Brazil beat North Korea because of two moments when someone thought, “F**k this”. Maicon decided to run at a man, and what can we say about the finish. Robinho (who was far and away Brazil’s most potent threat, but that almost seems like a half-hearted compliment so muted were the others) sliced open the defence with a glorious pass into the box. North Korea’s goal came from running at defenders. When Spain tried to go direct, it was too late, and the quality of delivery very poor. Elia changed the game for the Netherlands with his pace.

The bigger teams, in my opinion, aren’t being direct enough. Although, this is not to say they should go all out hoofball – England showed that the route one is as ineffective as dinking it around the centre circle at one-nil – though maybe if Rooney hadn’t waited until the 75th minute to pull his finger out, who knows.

The only 'favourite' to have really shone is Germany. They kept it on the floor. They held onto the ball. But they did things the other teams did not. They shifted the point of attack – if an alley ran blind, they moved it around, started again, constantly probing, backing their own fitness to win out over the Australians’. Ozil ran through the centre, he looked for a through ball. They shipped it out wide and put it in the box. They got in behind the defenders and created havoc.

Maybe this is a load of old nonsense, and I’m by no means advocating long ball – but in this World Cup so far defence has prevailed but attack has let it down, been half hearted. Germany have shown, that for those prepared to try, to go for it, to mix it up and go out to win instead of trying not to lose, there are riches to be had. Maybe Spain, Holland et al need to realise no one will think less of them if they stick it in the mixer every so often.

Robert Donnellan

Day 6 - Chile slick, Spain stunned, Forlan merks Africa

Three thoroughly enjoyable games in a day for the first time during these Finals. A suave and refreshing Chile side got off the mark, Spain wobbled without absolutely anyone seeing it coming, and the host nation's hopes were almost extinguished with the help of a Premier League reject...

Honduras 0 Chile 1
Chile looked useful though the scoreline did not do their domination justice – that might just be a problem for them against better opposition. Honduras were spirited enough and defended well but are unlikely to progress. Alexis Sanchez could emerge as an unexpected star of the tournament as he pulled the strings for an attack-minded Chile team. Their next match against Switzerland on Monday could prove vital. (MM)

Marcelo Bielsa's side have probably been the most easy on the eye so far, with the possible exclusion of Germany. He didn't quite go for as mental a formation as i'd hoped, playing four at the back, but they demonstrated why many people have picked them as a dark horse, if not to win the trophy then to possibly make the last four. Sanchez is obviously the star, but you have to love Waldo Ponce. Honduras weren't awful by any means, but the Chileans are great in possession and could trouble some of the bigger boys. (LS)

Spain 0 Switzerland 1
The first real shock and one from which Spain should recover. Switzerland put in a sterling defensive performance and nicked a comedy goal through Man City reject Gelson Fernandes. Spain should get their tournament on track against Honduras and should have more space to create against the attacking Chileans. A great three points for the Swiss that gives them a real chance of progression. (MM)

One of those peculiar games where despite you wanting slick football to prevail over last-ditch defending you're quite happy to see the latter prevail. Spain played well, but couldn't break through, and Grichting in particular was outstanding. Nkufo and Derdiyok both lead the line well, giving Hitzfeld's side occasional targets for the break. Whilst the goal was very sloppy, beggars can't be choosers when it comes to beating the best international side in the world.

A routine next game for the European Champions should enable them to get back on track. Hard to predict Chile/Switzerland, but not losing that could see the Swiss sneak through. (LS)

South Africa 0 Uruguay 3
A result that leaves South Africa needing to beat France in their final group match to stay in the tournament and puts Uruguay in pole position to progress. Diego Forlan was excellent in a more withdrawn role for Uruguay, scoring their first two goals. South Africa really lacked quality going forward and, though it’ll be a shame for the tournament if they go out, they really haven’t shown enough to merit a last 16 place. (MM)

An absolute rimming. Uruguay's front three were all excellent and the inclusion of Cavani in particular allowed the other two to have more of an impact on the game. Forlan's one of very few players left at the top level nowadays who seem universally loved. Being binned by United - probably the biggest club in the world at the time - must have been hard to take, but six years and almost 150 club goals later, he's one of the best strikers on the planet.

I felt a bit for Khune. I guess by the letter of the law he had to go, but it was more naive than cynical, though undoubtedly a pen. Uruguay should get the inevitable draw with Mexico now, ensuring they both progress. I fancy them to at least make the quarters. (LS)

Matt Morrison, Lee Shed

Spain's need for a plan B

If Spain’s loss to Switzerland showed us anything, it was their lack of adaptability when faced with a resolute and determined defensive display (and Switzerland did defend impeccably). Their passing football is wonderful to watch and can be breathtaking (see David Silva’s goal in the recent friendly against Poland) but it can be equally frustrating when they stubbornly refuse to win by any other means.

The similarities in style between the current Barcelona side and the Spanish national team are evident, not surprising given the heavy Barca representation at international level. The same issue was highlighted in this season’s Champions League semi-final when Jose Mourinho’s immovable Inter Milan despatched of Barcelona with relative ease. Mourinho was more than happy to surrender the possession percentage knowing that it was goals and not pretty passing that would get his team to the final.

Of course, Spain (and Barcelona) will have played against teams who have parked the bus in the past and won with ease – it is generally a case of nabbing that first goal. On another day Xabi Alonso’s thunderbolt would have flown in or they would have got a bit of luck in the penalty area and won the match comfortably.

Switzerland’s wily coach Ottmar Hitzfeld played it perfectly on the day with a 4-1-4-1 formation that defended deep and allowed no space in behind for the pace of David Villa, and Fernando Torres once introduced. As the game went on, Switzerland began to look more comfortable as they nullified the Spanish threat. The Swiss were happy for Spain to have the ball in front of them and in wide areas and they dealt with anything that was put into the area. It was the ultimate smash and grab.

Spain manager Vicente del Bosque brought Torres and Jesus Navas on after an hour and then Pedro with ten minutes to go. We know Torres is a player who can score a goal from nothing (though he didn’t look sharp) but Navas and Pedro, though great players, were not going to alter Spain’s style. Fernando Llorente, their 6’5” striker from Atletico Bilbao, was ignored. You can’t help but feel that if they occasionally adopted a more direct game it could pay dividends in games such as this. The Swiss had settled into their defensive set up after Gelson Fernandes’s goal and were coping with what Spain had to offer – a Niall Quinn-esque striker would have given them something new to think about.

Spain are still highly fancied and I expect them to qualify from Group H, but they may need to learn how to win by slightly uglier methods than those which they adamantly embrace.

Matt Morrison

Still here?

Ever look down a squad list and think “Is he really still going?”. Whether they are putting in age defying performances or getting one last payday in that footballing retirement village that is Qatar, I love the old guys. I often remember that season they had at some newly promoted Premier League team (before quickly scurrying home when things went tits up) or seeing them in the USA ’94 sticker album.

And veterans can always make an impression at a World Cup – Dino Zoff captained Italy to the title in 1982 aged 40, Roger Milla and Peter Shilton had a combined age of 78 when they helped Cameroon and England to great runs in 1990 and Kanu played in his first World Cup for Nigeria in 1998 when he was 42. Ahem.

Some I was happy to see still pottering about:

Rigobert Song (Cameroon) – WC appearances: 1994, 1998, 2006
The former Liverpool and West Ham talisman, now aged 33, holds the ignominious record of being one of only two players to be sent off at two World Cups and is also the youngest player to be sent off at the tournament having been dismissed against Brazil in 1994 at the tender age of 17. These are the extent of his World Cup highlights as Cameroon have failed to progress beyond the group stage in all three of his tournament appearances. However he is (as I am reliably informed by Wikipedia) “the only ever player to score three overhead kicks in one game for Cameroon against Mali in 1998”. Now I cannot comment either way on the veracity of that statement but it would certainly be a video worth seeing.

Song is currently playing in Turkey with Trabzonspor and is one of only two survivors from USA’94 (the other being South Korea’s Lee Woon-Jae). He also plays alongside his younger cousin (or is that nephew?) Alex Song of Arsenal.

Giovanni Van Bronckhorst (Netherlands) – WC appearances: 2006
Although having seemingly been around forever (probably because he signed for Rangers twelve years ago) this will only be Van Bronckhorst’s second finals appearance as he was overlooked in 1998 and the Dutch failed to qualify in 2002. He goes this year as captain at the age of 35 and just shy of 100 international caps.

Back at Feyenoord these days after trophy-laden spells with Arsenal and Barcelona, the left back will be hoping a solid Dutch defence will allow a star studded frontline of Van Persie, Sneijder, Van der Vaart and Robben to take them to the latter stages of the tournament. He has announced that he will retire after the summer. And he still looks about 18.

Jon-Dahl Tomasson (Denmark) – WC appearances: 2002
Primarily remembered in England for being slightly rubbish for a year at Newcastle in the late nineties (three goals all season), the Danish striker should soon become their leading scorer of all time with 50+ international goals. Not a bad feat at all when playing for a European side. He was on course for the Golden Boot at the World Cup in 2002 having scored four goals in the group stage (and eliminating France in the process) until England derailed Denmark’s progress in the second round.

Tomasson, like Van Bronckhorst, is now at Feyenoord and captain of his country and has a Champions League medal under his belt while at Milan. He will hope to take the Danes to at least the second round.

Juan Sebastian Veron (Argentina) – WC appearances: 1998, 2002
Back in favour with Maradona now at the helm, Veron is another who did not live up to billing in England – he showed little of his undoubted ability during expensive stints at both Manchester United and Chelsea. Struggling to adapt to the fast and physical English game, he is much more at home in South American and in international football.

He has been back in Argentina at Estudiantes since 2006 and has won South American Player of the Year in 2008 and 2009, so obviously still has something to offer at 35 and Argentina will want to improve on 2006’s (shameful) exit against Germany.

Cuauhtémoc Blanco (Mexico) – WC appearances: 1998, 2002
Having recently made a cameo appearance in a friendly at Wembley, England observers will attest to the fact that Blanco is looking every one of his 37 years and resembles a slightly less nimble Mick Quinn (sans ‘tache).

He livened up the 1998 World Cup with his ridiculous ball-hopping trick, the ‘Cuauhteminha’, and has spent most of his career scoring a hatful of goals in the Mexican league with América, with one brief spell in La Liga with Valladolid.

Blanco seems to have made the Mexican squad more out of nostalgia than anything and will probably be used mainly as a substitute in the final quarter of a match. Just don’t expect too many lung-busting runs.

Matt Morrison

Day 5 - Kiwis make history, North Korea win hearts

Just as most viewers were convinced this was going to be the dullest World Cup ever two sides won our affections, and the biggest dog of them all brought some flair to the competition. New Zealand bagged a late draw with Slovakia and had been plucky throughout. Their opposition, also untried, didn't live up to expectations bar one Premier League youngster. Highlight of the day, though, a stern North Korea giving the greatest footballing nation of all time a run for their money...

New Zealand 1 Slovakia 1
Winston Reid’s late equaliser for New Zealand livened this week up and has allowed them the Antipodean bragging rights (for now at least) following the Australian thrashing at the hands of Germany. Robert Vittek gave Slovakia the lead early in the second half but they failed to put the game to bed and could regret not taking full points in surely their easiest match in Group F. Anything from the next two games will be a bonus for the All Whites. (MM)

I actually quite enjoyed this fixture. New Zealand, to my surprise, weren't absolutely shite. Elliott delivered good balls into the box, their strikers put themselves about and they went out to win the game. Slovakia on the other hand, didn't attack with as much vigour as i'd hoped. Hamsik was very quiet, but Manchester City's seventh choice winger Vladimir Weiss looked like a world-beater.

Neither of these sides will qualify, but a point for New Zealand is a proud achievement, and bar goalie Patson, who was awful, they equipped themselves rather well. A good point for them, two dropped for a Slovak side who probably had to win to make the second stage. (DC)

Nice to see a little'un pull off an unexpected result but truth be told there wasn't much to excite here. Marek Hamsik won't be making multi-million pound moves anywhere based on this. (DK)

Ivory Coast 0 Portugal 0
Seriously, nothing. A large part of me died when the Ivory Coast took a short corner in injury time. Hope they both go out. (MM)

Pretty much the entire world thought this would be the best match of the group stage. It was fucking awful. Like watching Villa v Stoke. Nothing of note happened. Nothing. Credit to Gervinho on the greatest ever haircut in professional sport. Actually, something of note did happen - that. (DC)

Last gasp corner taken short. Sums this utter pile of shit up. (DK)

Brazil 2 North Korea 1
Great game. The North Koreans worked their socks off to stifle the Brazilians, while looking mildly dangerous with Jong Tae-se on the counter attack - a shock 0-0 at half time. A great goal from Maicon (he meant it) early in the second half settled Brazil and a classy second by Elano, from an excellent Robinho’s pass, sealed it. Despite tiring in the second half, North Korea got a late consolation that their performance merited and they could give Portugal and Ivory Coast more trouble than expected. (MM)

A proper World Cup game, this. North Korea pulled their bollocks up over their faces and went for it. Brazil couldn't get going first half, but Robinho was looking in the mood. The entire Korean back four was superb throughout, and the two centre-halves were especially strong first half. Forward, he of pre-match tears, Jong Tae-Se lead the line like a warrior, and no-one could say that all they did was park the bus.

Brazil were always going to break them down at some point, but i'm not sure Maicon's goal was intentional. Robinho's superb pass for the second certainly was, however, and they might've added more, but Korea's heads never dropped, and them bagging a goal themselves will remain one of my all-time favourite World Cup moments. If they play to that standard they could get something from both other group opponents. (DC)

The most entertaining two-sided affair in the cup up to this point. Almost a shame the BBC had to milk it for 'laughs'. Robinho looked like a man who'd never heard of an away day at Wigan or Hull. (DK)

Matt Morrison, Daniel Kelly, Dave Chisora

Group H preview

On paper, the final group in this year’s World Cup looks like a forgone conclusion. As reigning European Champions and second in the world rankings, Spain look certain to coast through into the last sixteen. However, the battle for second place will be one of the more intriguing fights for qualification in the tournament.

Spain
In a qualifying group which some predicted would provide an early onset hangover for the 2008 European Champions. Spain couldn’t have answered these critics more emphatically; ten wins from ten and an average of more than three goals a game outlined their status as one of the favourites to lift the Jules Rimet trophy.

They enter the tournament in unparalleled form having won their last twelve matches, and in them scoring forty goals and conceding an average of a goal a game. It is clear then that the frontline of La Furia will pose a major threat to any defence playing against them. Villa and Torres, providing the latter is fit, will be hoping to recreate their irresistible strike-partnership from the Austria-Switzerland tournament in 2008, and the Barcelona midfield machine that is Xavi and Iniesta are undoubtedly capable of feeding two of the finest strikers in the world with the finest supply in the world.

For the other teams, it gets worse; their strength in depth and strength at the back makes them more than a match for any team. At a time when England fans are bemoaning the frail nature of their team’s squad, Spain coach Vincente del Bosque has the luxury of three world-class goalkeepers (Casillas, Valdes and Reina) and the option of leaving Fabregas on the bench. With a mixture of wise old heads such as Carles Puyol, and emerging talents like Juan Manuel Mata and David Silva, it come of little surprise to think that the managers of the other thirty one teams in the tournament are hoping Spain revert to their pre-2008 form and choke early. Don’t bank on it.

Chile
The glory days of Leonel Sanchez, Marcelo Salas and Ivan Zamorano may be gone, but Chile are one team in this World Cup that should not be underestimated. After a stumbling start to their qualifying campaign, La Roja roared back to claim second place in the CONMEBOL standings, and book their place in South Africa after a twelve year absence from the World Cup.

Like Spain, Chile’s most potent weapon is their attack, which managed 32 goals in their 18 qualifying matches. Spearheaded by CONMEBOL qualifying’s top scorer Humberto Suazo (10) their attacking play will certainly keep opposition defences on their toes. However, their prospects at the other end of the pitch are not so optimistic. The 22 goals they shipped in qualifying is more than any of the other South American teams who made it to South Africa, and is something which could be ruthlessly exposed at the top level. With the fixture against Spain being their last in the group, Marcelo Bielsa’s men will surely be looking to have qualification wrapped up with victories against Honduras and Switzerland before they face the Spaniards.

Switzerland
After a draw against Israel and a loss at home to Luxembourg, qualification, even more so respectability, looked a remote prospect for the Swiss. Despite this, Schweizer Nati were able to top a group containing former European Champions Greece after an eight match unbeaten run, sealing their place in South Africa.

The fact that Switzerland are more of a dangerous prospect than two years ago is down to the appointment of Ottmar Hitzfeld as team coach. The wiley German has managed to blend the precocious talents of the likes of Tranquillo Barnetta and Eren Derdiyok with the more experienced heads of Alexander Frei, Hakan Yakin and Blaise Nkufo. In effect, this has created a team that is capable of not letting the pressure get to them, as typified by their amazing amendment to their faulty start in qualifying.

Having said that, they are not exactly a ‘comfortable’ team. They withstood a barrage of pressure from Israel in their final group game despite playing against ten men for a considerable amount of it, and only managed to scrape through automatically with a 0-0 draw securing the point they needed. Indeed, this lack of firepower may be their undoing at the top level, where especially in the knockout stages scoring is vital. For instance, I doubt many Swiss will recall fondly their exit in the 2006 World Cup, where they went out 3-0 on penalties to the Ukraine in the last sixteen, despite not conceding a goal in the entire tournament up to that point. With the likes of Spain and Chile in their group, it’s unlikely they will be afforded such a luxury this time around.

Honduras
28 years after their last World Cup appearance, in which they finished bottom of a group that was topped by Northern Ireland(!), Honduras are back in the big time. After scraping through their qualifying group, making it only thanks to a last minute USA equaliser against Costa Rica, they will undoubtedly enjoy their latest foray into world football.

Yet unlike 1982, Honduras can claim to have a presence in top-level club football. Although we may know full well the exploits of Wilson Palacios, Maynor Figueroa and Hendry Thomas here in the Premier League, Honduras can also claim to have players playing top-flight football in Italy, Belgium and Mexico. The news that Palacios, the Spurs midfield anchor, will be fit for the tournament will undoubtedly be a huge boost.

Yet the minnows face an almost impossible task to progress from their group. Although having Carlos Pavon amongst their ranks as the CONCACAF qualifying’s top goalscorer, is certainly a positive, their unpredictability remains a concern. A thumping 3-1 win at home to Mexico contrasted with dismal results against Costa Rica (a 2-0 loss) and Trinidad and Tobago (1-1). Adding to their woes, striker Carlo Costly has been ruled out of the tournament through injury. Having scored five goals in qualifying, the former Birmingham loanee will be sorely missed.

Prediction
All roads point to Spain topping the group, and mine is no different. Second place is another matter entirely, however. The obvious crunch-fixture is Chile v. Switzerland on June 21, with the winner of that being in pole-position to qualify along with Spain. Although on paper it looks like it should be too close to call, my instinct tells me that the flair and form of the Chileans will be enough to overpower the Swiss machine and clinch second place. As for Honduras, I just hope I never get them in the work’s World Cup sweepstake again.

Sean Lightbown

Day 4 - Dutch do enough, Paraguay trouble Italy

Expected to breeze through a very kind group, the Netherlands had little trouble from Morten Olsen's experienced but rarely adventurous Denmark. Played in blistering lunchtime heat, it wasn't a classic, but without their key man a good result. A mental own goal put them on their way after the Danes had fared quite well until the break.

Japan did their chances the world of good by edging a disappointing Cameroon. Best game of the day though was the evening kick-off, as an impressively robust Paraguay troubled the current Champions...

Holland 2 Denmark 0
Unable to draw many conclusions from this one. Netherlands were far from flowing and needed a comedy own goal to set them on their way. They looked much more of a threat with Eljero Elia on the pitch in the second half.

Denmark weren’t great with Bendtner being substituted early and they will need to look at winning their remaining games to progress. (MM)

Impressed but not blown away by either side, and for different reasons. Denmark looked quite solid until the silly first goal - typically resolute, knowing when to break and Bendtner was proving a useful target. You always got the impression that they'd have to take their chances, though. They couldn't.

The Dutch occasionally looked fluid but missed Robben, and without him they're rarely the same side. Nigel de Jong, a player i like a lot, was guilty of two awful challenges that in previous World Cups could have even resulted in straight reds, but they did enough to end the game comfortably.

The players who stood out for me were right-back van der Wiel and sub Elia. No surprise that some of Europe's biggest clubs are looking at them. (II)

Japan 1 Cameroon 0
A last ten-minute onslaught aside, Cameroon were poor. Eto’o was bunged out on the right wing and they showed little quality. Need to beat Denmark on Saturday to keep hopes alive.

Japan were neat and tidy and defended well but did not look like a side likely to worry the later stages of the tournament. Anything out of the Netherlands game will be a bonus so a lot may ride on their final game against Denmark. (MM)

One of the poorer games so far, and a tale of each side's best player. Honda was allowed a free role and bagged the all-important winner, Le Guen kept Eto'o out on the flank and he could have little impact on the game. His replacement in attack, Pierre Webo, is amongst the most immobile forwards you'll see in the tournament. Forgettable. (II)

Italy 1 Paraguay 1
Interesting game. Paraguay defended stoutly but had little attacking threat, with their goal coming from a set piece. Would have got the win if their goalkeeper had dealt with the corner that led to De Rossi’s equaliser. Italy were poor in the first half but improved after a change of formation early in the second. They still looked a little toothless but should pick up six points from their next two games to qualify. (MM)

Expected to be one of the least easy on the eye sides at the Finals, Paraguay were actually very good to watch. Solid centre-halves who will both play in England next year, protected by their midfield, and full-backs steady on the backfoot but also good moving forwards. They are quite defensive, there's no doubting that, but they break well, quickly, and often by keeping the ball on the deck. Certainly one of the sides i've most enjoyed watching thus far.

Italy, well, typical Italy, really - below par, pretty uninspiring, but got the job done. After starting quite brightly they ran flat, and Montelivio especially seemed short of ideas. Pepe was occasionally bright from the right, as was his replacement, but De Rossi, who really seems to have matured in the time since his last World Cup, led by example. I'd love to see him in the Premier League. (II)

Exactly what I expected. Both teams seemed to acknowledge the important thing was that neither of them lose, and a few flourishes aside, neither tried to force defeat on the opposition. (DK)

Ian Ian, Daniel Kelly, Matt Morrison

Ones to watch: Eljero Elia (Holland)

Every now and again you see a player for the very first time and are instantly convinced he'll become a superstar. That moment last happened for me when i saw a dashing Dutch wideman rip Pablo Zabaleta to bits during a splendid UEFA Cup game which ended 3-2 to Manchester City against FC Twente late in 2008.

Since making an impression on the English watching public for the first time that night, Elia, who claims to have been named after American musician Al Jarreau, has left De Grolsch Veste for pastures new, joining Hamburg for around £7m last summer.

An overall disappointing season for the Red Shorts has seen them recently appoint their third manager since Martin Jol left for Ajax, with former Wolfsburg boss Armin Veh recently given the position. Elia, and defender Jerome Boateng - just left for the Premier League, have proved the main plus points.

Elia was handed his full international debut last Autumn, assisting two goals before bagging himself one during his second cap. Yesterday, he came off the bench to boost a comfortable but flagging Dutch side in their opening World Cup game against Denmark, one of several mazy runs ending up in Liverpool's king scuffer Dirk Kuyt bagging a screamer from three yards to put the game beyond doubt.

Hardly short of competition, Elia mightn't start regularly just yet, but the injury to Arjen Robben leaves him as the most pacy and direct asset they have. His man competition should come from wantaway Real Madrid midfielder Rafael van der Vaart, though he's more at home from a central position. Also in the squad is Ryan Babel. Not sure Elia needs to worry about that one.

Like Babel, Elia has pace to burn. That's about where the similarities end. The Hamburg man doesn't struggle to control a football, actually possesses some end product, and should go into his first major international tournament full of confidence after a season which couldn't have ended far different from his former under-21 colleague. The Voorburg-born youngster could prove important to L'Orange, and have a few English clubs regretting not taking a chance on him earlier.

Paul Juanjo

Group F preview

Italy
Ah, the Italians. Winners on four occasions and current champions. Now back under the tutelage of Marcello Lippi after the moribund spell of former Milan midfielder Roberto Donadoni, the Azzurri are very much a side in transition as a generation of superstars creaks towards retirement. Those coming through are a mixed bag, but the dominant force of Serie A of recent years, Internazionale, provide few bodies.

Qualifying proved relatively routine - undefeated in ten games including two draws with an Irish side who also finished unbeaten but missed out due to a cheating Frenchman, and they should progress from their group here without struggle but also without setting too many pulses racing.

An experienced starting eleven with a smattering of newbie talent - left-back Criscito and midfielders Marchisio and Montelivio, but surprisingly not Candreva or Rossi, both left out, will mean they're as tough to beat as ever. Expect a 4-2-3-1 with one lumbering forward.

Paraguay
Almost certainly the only squad at the finals missing a key player due to him being shot in the face, Paraguay are well capable of providing a shock or two. A hard-working and organised unit, they're surprisingly unreliant on their two biggest names - oft-injured Manchester City forward Roque Santa Cruz, and 38-goal Oscar Cardozo of Benfica.

Stubborn at the back and well-drilled, La Albirroja will make use of the counter attack and full-backs who know when to push on. Finished above Argentina and Uruguay in qualifying and their current side is widely considered to be their strongest to date. Should get through to meet Spain in the second round to equal their best ever World Cup performance.

New Zealand
Expected to be the whipping boys of the group, the All Whites will be desperate to pick up their first Finals point after losing all three games heavily during their only other appearance, Spain '82. The biggest winners from Australia's continent switch, Ricki Herbert's side had to only see off giants such as Vanuata and Fiji before edging Bahrain in a play-off.

Ryan Nelsen is the standout name in their squad, and now captain of Blackburn Rovers. A canny signing by former boss Mark Hughes, he's now played almost two-hundred times for the Ewood Park side. Left-back Tommy Smith has recently been on loan at Brentford from Ipswich Town, Simon Elliott had an injury-hit couple of years at Fulham, Leo Bertos has turned out for Barnsley (where Jeremy Christie also started out) and Rochdale amongst others, Michael McGlinchey came through the ranks at Celtic, Dave Mulligan spent several years roaming around League One, Shane Smeltz enjoyed a prolific 05/06 campaign in the Isthmian League with AFC Wimbleson, goalkeeper Mark Paston has been at Bradford and Walsall, backup James Bannatyne had one season at Yeading, and strikers Chris Wood, Rory Fallon and Chris Killen are at West Brom, Plymouth and Middlesbrough, respectively. Centre-half Winston Reid - five seasons with FC Midtjylland, and fellow defender Ivan Vicelich - a similar spell at Roda JC, represent their only other real experience in major leagues.

I'm not entirely sure what to expect from the Kiwis. Their coach is said to be a bit of a tinkerman, but Reid and Nelsen should provide a solid base at the back, and he generally finds a way of including all three of his main strikers. They won't beat Italy, and almost certainly won't qualify from the group, but picking up a point against Slovakia or Paraguay would be a historic achievement in itself.

Slovakia
It's perhaps surprising that the Slovaks have rarely featured amongst those sides predicted to be dark horses of this tournament. Vlad Weiss Snr's side stormed their qualifying group, finishing ahead of an admittedly-ageing Czech Republic as well as Poland and Slovenia, picking up maximum points in both Prague and Chorzow.

Though still somewhat of a rough diamond and completely untested at this level, the coach has brought through a new generation of exciting players, led by Napoli midfielder Marek Hamsik. Miroslav Stoch and Vladimir Weiss Jnr, of Chelsea and Manchester City but both yet to really make the breakthrough, will also provide trickery from the flanks. Martin Skrtel is another familiar name, marshalling a back line that's generally solid. Strikers Sestak and Vittek are wily customers but not generally prolific.

A potentially troublesome side whose hopes will quite probably depend on them taking maximum points from their opening game. Do that and they've an outside chance of making the last eight. Fail to do so and they might just miss out.

Prediction
The Italians to bore their way into the second round. Paraguay to edge an up-and-coming but naive Slovakia for second place.

Leo Torricelli

Day 3 - Ozil shines, Serbia mug off tipsters

With the entire English public waking up with sore heads it was pretty inevitable that the following day would serve us some uneventful fayre topped off with out greatest rivals turning on the style in what's easily been the performance of the tournament so far. Our group rivals walked around for a bit before Slovenia won it late, some numbnut for the hotly-tipped Serbs completely lost his head, and in Durban a star was born...

Algeria 0 Slovenia 1
Not the greatest game of football, but Slovenia will take confidence from their first win at a major tournament. Robert Koren’s tame shot was allowed in by Chaouchi in the Algerian goal after 79 minutes, with Algeria already down to ten men following the sending off of substitute Abdelkader Ghezzal. There wasn’t much else to report. Slovenia are likely to also need something from their next game against the USA to have a chance of qualifying. (MM)

Thought I'd give it a go. I mean, South Korea - Greece had been decent enough, hadn't it? Terrible idea, especially with a hangover. (DK)

My vow to watch every minute of every game sadly fell by the wayside here as two awful sides played awfully and i decided to have a shower instead and make a fry-up. I do quite like Robert Koren, though. England should see off either of these sets of mugs. (HU)

Serbia 0 Ghana 1
Serbia, my nod for surprise package of the tournament, did me proud by being pretty awful against Ghana, though they could still have nicked even after going down to ten men – Milos Krasic firing a great chance straight at Kingson in the Ghanian goal.

Ghana were industrious and energetic as you would expect but it took an 83rd minute penalty following a daft handball by Kuzmanovic to win it. Asamoah Gyan, their number 3-wearing striker, scored with ease. This loss leaves Serbia needing something against Germany on Friday with confidence low. (MM)

So Serbia conspire to make me look like a rambling dickhead (moreso). Ghana looked strong but for my money Serbia should have beaten them. They had the best chances but were just less than the sum of their parts. Would still be in the running if not for a ridiculous handball.

Can't help but think it might be hard for them to get out of the group now, especially as Ghana ought to shoe a Cahill-less Australia all over the place. You can keep that fiver, bet365. (DK)

Quite a nice moment seeing Ghana earn Africa's first victory of their maiden World Cup. As with many, i feel a bit of manlove towards the Serbians, though, and was very disappointed. I actually think Ghana are the best footballing side of Africa, even moreso than Ivory Coast. Tagoe, particularly played very well, and Boateng, too, whilst the likes of Krasic did very little. I think they'll have enough to get through now.

As for Serbia, well. I sincerely hope the rest of their squad drag Kuzmanovic from his bed in the dead of the night and beat him within an inch of a cold with some soggy slippers. What a prick! (HU)

Germany 4 Australia 0
Germany flew out of the traps with the best performance so far – it could have been seven or eight. Australia, set up in ultra-defensive mode, looked very average and Tim Cahill’s loss for possibly the next two games (after a red card early in the second half) could end any realistic chances they had of progression.

Germany’s football was good to watch – quick, incisive passing with Mezut Ozil at the heart of most of their first half moves. Podolski and Klose still look very dangerous at international level despite their troubles in the Bundesliga, both scoring first half goals.

A win against Serbia on Friday ensure the German’s qualification to the second round. (MM)

Now this is what I'm talking about. The World Cup had been mostly trading off its reputation over the weekend, but there has finally been a game to recommend it. Ozil looked great and it's always nice to see the Aussies get beaten heavily. (DK)

Wow. Honestly, wow. Mesut Ozil looked like Georgi Kinkladze in his pomp. Well, to be honest he looked more like Clint Dempsey with big hoody eyelids, but he ripped the Aussies to bits and looked every inch a superstar. I like Muller, as well. He's no artist but very dangerous.

What can you say about the Germans that doesn't get wheeled out during every single tournament. How can their 'average' strikers knock in a goal every other game and ours be Emile Heskey? On paper only Philipp Lahm would be sure of a place in our side, yet they'd absolutely fucking tank us on this form. Hopefully Serbia will ruin them. (HU)

Humberto Ulazo, Matt Morrison, Daniel Kelly

Group E preview

Heading into this 2010 FIFA World Cup, many a person believed upon first glance that Group E would be one of the more easier groups to predict in terms of who will advance and who would not. However, if one takes a more detailed look at the four teams participating in this group they will find that such initial notions are not surefire bets. Obviously the Netherlands are the class team of the group, but other than that there are three teams all capable of squeaking into that second qualifying spot...

Netherlands
When I think of the Netherlands football-wise, I only think of one thing and one thing only; Fun. Fun, good-natured fans known for being some of the best in all of world football, and a fun, forward-thinking football team to match. Yet as we have seen time after time over the years, said 'fun' does not translate into titles, whether it in the European Champions or in the World Cup. Most notably in the last European Championships where they dismantled France and Italy respectively, only to falter rather lifelessly in the quarter final stage to Russia. This time around, the Dutch obviously hope for a different result. With players such as Ibrahim Afellay, Rafael Van Der Vaart, Wesley Sneijder, Eljiero Elia, and Robin Van Persie, the end result might be a different one.

The one issue for the Dutch is the health of arguably their best player in Arjen Robben, who suffered a hamstring injury in their last warm-up game against Hungary. He will not play in the Oranje’s first game against Denmark and even if he does come back against Japan, it is not certain that he will be at 100%.

Cameroon
For the most part, this is the strongest Cameroon side that has shown up to a World Cup in recent memory. Yet Les Lions Indomptables still boast a fairly decent squad capable of making some noise in this tournament. Obviously the big name here is Samuel Eto’o, and the likes of Rigobert Song and Geremi will provide valuable experience, yet a decent core of younger players including Song, Enoh, Bassong, even Assou-Ekotto sure up a team lead by Frenchmen Paul Le Guen. Whether this squad can squeak out of this group remains to be seen, but they most certainly have a shot.

Denmark
The Danish, even by their own admission, do not really have a team flowing with star players, but what the lack in firepower they make up for in experience and good chemistry. All of this starts with the coach Morten Olsen. In this day and age a football manager does not last at a post very often so to see Olsen last ten years as Danish national team manager is a commendable achievement, especially when you consider that Denmark missed the 2006 FIFA World Cup and Euro 2008. A slightly surprising qualifying group winner, finishing ahead of Portugal (who sneaked into the World Cup via the playoffs) and Sweden (who did not qualify).

The Danish are a tight, compact, disciplined squad that does not give up anything easily so expect the likes of the Japan and Cameroon to have a bit of a difficult time breaking them down. Their main problem might prove to be a lack of attacking punch.

Japan
Rounding out Group E is Japan. Japan’s manager, Takeshi Okada, bravely proclaimed a final four finish for the Blue Samurai. I can assure you (in a rare moment of non-objectivity) that this will most likely not happen. They did not set the world alight during qualifying and to add to their misery have never won a World Cup match off Asian soil. So honestly, do not expect too much from Japan at all. Only four of their squad ply their trade outside of their homeland. Of those, midfielder Keisuke Honda, who performed admirably against England recently, might be the one worth keeping an eye on.

Prediction
Despite the temporary loss of Arjen Robben, I still have the Netherlands advancing out of this group as winners. As for who will join them, I've a feeling Denmark will edge Cameroon. They should prove disciplined and organised enough to earn themselves a place in the last sixteen, though are unlikely to go much further than that.

Kofi Appiah Biney

the World Cup away from the field

Football isn’t just consigned to a pitch. Indeed, some of the most important and indeed most humorous moments happen off it. Just ask Kim Jong-hun, (though I doubt he will find the funny side) coach of the North Korean national team, who nominated striker Kim Myong-wun as his side’s third goalkeeper. Unfortunately for both Kims, FIFA have ruled that his selection as goalkeeper means he can only take to the field as a goalkeeper. If he plays, I hope for his sake someone tells him to catch crosses, not nod them in.

Although we may snort in our Starbucks like capitalist pig-dogs at this kind of ineptitude, off-field drama has proven par for the course at the World Cup. They range from the plain daft to events of great seriousness; sometimes, they are even a mix of both. Here are a few...

Diana Ross (USA, 1994)
The United States: glitz, glamour and, er, Alabama. Emerging from the Cold War victorious, our friends in the West had the chance to put on an event that could eclipse all previous tournaments. They had it all: a solid infrastructure, world-renowned stadiums and a market of potential ‘soccer’ fans just waiting to be tapped.

The opening ceremony was going swimmingly, providing the mix of spectacle and razzmatazz that is so uniquely American. To top it all off, on comes Diana Ross dressed in a red shell suit and flanked by Colgate mascots either side. The plan was simple: wave at adoring crowd, sport toothy grin amid the whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ fans, kick oversized ball into net, collapse net, cue cheers. Instead, taking leave of the script, Ross decides to perform a heartfelt tribute to a history of England penalty woes.

(Ok, so this was technically ‘on-field’…gimme a break).

John Aldridge (USA 1994)
After the high of beating Italy 1-0 in their opening match, the Republic of Ireland were brought crashing back down to earth in their next game as they trailed Mexico 2-0 with time running out. Manager Jack Charlton, seeing his team’s dire position, decided to chuck on veteran John Aldridge.

That was his plan, anyway. The officials however, had other ideas. Whether it was a miscommunication or a delay in paperwork, the officials would not let Aldridge on to the field, despite the player he was replacing having come off. Aldridge, in his trademark native Cork accent, let out a barrage of four-word missives at the presumably terrified sideline officials. Jack Charlton then got involved. Nearly six minutes afterwards, Aldridge was eventually allowed on to the field.

Although both he and Charlton were punished for their x-rated tirades - broadcast around the world -Aldridge had the last laugh; he scored the consolation goal against Mexico which proved to be a decider in sending his team through to the second round on goal difference.
Ronaldo (France, 1998)
What went from being a spot of teamsheet hokey-cokey to one of football’s biggest conspiracy theories, the mystery surrounding Ronaldo during the day of the 1998 World Cup Final would have given Holmes a headache. The stand-out player of the tournament, the Brazilian wonderkid was expected to upstage the hosts in the final with his lightning speed and lethal finishing.

However, when the lineups were submitted, his name was the one that stood out more than usual; he was listed on the bench. As the media ran around like headless chickens trying to understand what had happened, another teamsheet was circulated with Ronaldo’s name this time in the starting line up. On receiving it, Gary Lineker labelled the confusion as the biggest practical joke in World Cup history.

Yet there was hardly anything jokey about it. Brazil and Ronaldo in particular put in a dismal performance as France ran out 3-0 winners. After the game, rumours circled about Ronaldo being injured, and that he had been forced to play on by his sponsors. In fact, on the morning of the final, Roberto Carlos had woken up to discover his roommate Ronaldo having a seizure. The team was shell shocked, and with serious concerns about their star striker’s wellbeing, this no doubt went someway to explain Brazil’s below par display that evening.

Ernst Jean Joseph (West Germany, 1974)
Haiti had done well just to get to the World Cup finals, and in their first match put up a hell of a fight, taking a one-nil lead before eventually going down 3-1 to a world class Italian side. Sadly for Haitian defender Ernst Jean Joseph, this was as good as it would get; after the game, he became the first player at a World Cup to fail a dope test. If this wasn’t bad enough for Joseph, whose native country was under the terrifying regime of Papa Doc Duvalier at the time, the Haitian team officials responded to his positive test by holding him in the training camp and beating the shit out of him.

The terrified Joseph phoned two neutral officials who tried to intervene on his behalf: both were reprimanded for doing so. In the end, Joseph was flown home to face the consequences, whilst his teammates went on to lose 7-0 to Poland and 4-1 to Argentina in the remaining group games.

Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane (Japan and South Korea, 2002)
In the build up to the 2002 World Cup, the contrasting stances of Roy Keane, the FAI and manager Mick McCarthy combined to create a turd so large that a chance encounter with a passing fan was almost inevitable.

For Keane, the build-up to the World Cup had been less than adequate; the relaxed atmosphere of the training camp, the team having to fly economy class, and the fact that the expectations of the Irish officials and team did not match his own (he reportedly told Alex Ferguson he was going to the World Cup to win it), did nothing to dispel his concerns. As the media got wind of a brewing feud, Keane did an interview with the Irish Times, in which he publicly aired his concerns about the management, the FAI and revealed his threat to quit the team.

McCarthy confronted Keane with regard to the article, with one question on his mind: wtf? Keane’s response was, and still is, legendary: "Mick, you're a liar … you're a fucking wanker. I didn't rate you as a player, I don't rate you as a manager, and I don't rate you as a person. You're a fucking wanker and you can stick your World Cup up your arse. The only reason I have any dealings with you is that somehow you are the manager of my country! You can stick it up your bollocks."

Unsurprisingly, McCarthy sent Keane home on the next plane from Saipan. Ireland went on to make the last sixteen, going out to Spain on penalties. Meanwhile, Keane walked his dog. A lot.

Argentina (Argentina, 1978)
As tournaments go, this one was a good as any other, with the home national Argentina beating Holland 3-1 in an enthralling final that went to extra time. However, outside the stadium walls, dark secrets were being kept from prying international eyes.

Argentina had been chosen to host the 1978 World Cup ten years earlier. Two years before the tournament, the country was taken over by Jorge Videla’s military dictatorship known as the ‘National Reorganisation Process’, casting a regime of fear, suppression and bloodlust onto the country. As the regime got into full swing, the World Cup provided the ultimate opportunity for its legitimisation.

And how it needed it in the face of its crimes. The year prior to the Finals, the government stated that over 5,000 more people had joined the ever growing ranks of ‘the disappeared’ – the phrase used to describe political opponents and non-patriots that had either been banished to concentration camps, or worse, their death. Over 30,000 would perish in what became known as the ‘Dirty War’, a campaign of state sponsored violence against anti-government people.

Although the camps and atrocities were masked by those in power during the World Cup spotlight, The success of the tournament and the Argentine team has been seen to be a key factor in legitimising these processes. As human rights activist Mabel Gutierrez put it; “it was a cup made to wash the face of the murderers…in front of the world.”

On occasion, the hellish world hidden from international scrutiny would intertwine with the Argentina peddled by its leaders. Less than a mile away from River Plate’s stadium was the Naval Mechanics School, a torture centre during the regime where around 5,000 ‘disappeared’ were believed to have been held. On match days, the captives could hear the roar of the crowds cheering on their teams, offering a hollow respite from the screams of torture victims at the camp.

On the night of Argentina’s World Cup victory, several inmates were taken by their captors in a car to join the celebrating masses in the centre of Buenos Aires. Yet as former inmate Graciela Daleo recalls, public celebration contrasted painfully with what her and her fellow prisoners had endured. The team's victory only ensured she would have to endure it for some time still: "I stood up on the seat and looked at that multitude. That was another moment of terrible solitude. I was crying. I was certain that if I began to shout that I was a 'disappeared,' then no one would even notice."

Argentina may have won the World Cup in 1978, but its people lost a whole lot more.

Sean Lightbown